NY law states that you have a marriage license and state in my presence and in front of least one other witness that you take each other as husband and wife. The rest of the ceremony can be whatever you want it to be!
Some couples choose to write their own ceremonies using material from my site, other sources, or their own creative ideas. Others prefer to make selections for the various parts of the ceremony and then have me arrange the components and add transitional language.
The basic parts of a traditional ceremony are shown below. Including all the parts listed will create a 10-20 minute ceremony, depending upon the length of your vows and readings.
Click on the links to the left. Copy and paste your selection right into an email message to me or paste into a word document and attach. Call me if you have questions.
Basic Parts of a wedding
The Opening (select 1): The wedding ceremony opens with a welcome to all those in attendance and a brief acknowledgment of what is about to transpire. Sometimes couples choose that God, a Higher Power, Divine Energy or Spirit be called upon to bless the ceremony and the marriage.
The Readings: (select 2or 3) You can select Biblical readings, poetry, classical vignettes or create your own readings. The selections you choose can describe what is important to you in your relationship, convey your hopes and dreams for your marriage, provide a connection to a deceased family member, reflect your spiritual beliefs, or just talk about love. It is a nice way to include friends and family in your ceremony, but the selections can also be read by the minister.
Minister's Words (select 1): The minister’s words teach about love and relationship. We will agree in advance on what I will say. I can use this section to tie together your reading selections and reemphasize the "theme" of your wedding. Some couples choose to have me use the readings The Art of a Good Marriage. the Invitation, or the Key to Love (all on the Reading Page of this site) as the basis of the sermon. Others like me to tell their story or speak about marriage. Let's discuss this section.
The Expression of Intent (select 1 intent for you and 1 for family-both optional):
The minister asks if you are ready to go forward and then you speak your promises to each other. UNION by Robert Fulghum makes a beautiful prelude to your vows. It can be found on the top of the VOWS Page.
Vows: Select 1 or 2-depending on whether you want to say the same words to each other or different words. You can also write your own vows.
Blessing of the Hands: Choose a version you like as a prelude to your ring exchange.
Exchanging of the Rings (select 1 piece for me to say about the rings and then something for you to say as you exchange them): The minister describes the ring's meaning. Some couples choose that the minister ask God, or whatever you call the Divine Source, to bless them. You declare your commitment to each other as your exchange the ring or rings.
Unity Ceremony (select 1-optional): A unity ceremony provides a visual representation of your union. Some types are Unity Candle Ceremony, Sand Ceremony, Rose Ceremony, Wine Ceremony, Dove/Butterfly Release or Handfasting.
The Pronouncement of Marriage and the Kiss (select 1): The minister pronounces you as husband and wife and you share your first kiss as a married couple.
The Closing (select 1- you can also add a blessing send off reading if you like): The minister sends you off with a blessing and introduces you to the guests as a married couple.