New York State law requires that I sign a valid marriage license for each marriage I solemnize. If you do not have a valid license, I cannot officiate a wedding or marriage ceremony. This policy is not a reflection of my personal opinion, it is simply a matter of law. I personally believe that love has no limits, boundaries or restraints. For a link to the law, click here http://health.state.ny.us/vital_records/married.htm .
If you do not have a license, I can conduct a Ceremony of Love, Commitment or Handfasting Ceremony. These ceremonies celebrate the love and commitment of the couple, but have no legal standing. My only requirement is that it is made clear in the invitation (if any) and in the ceremony wording that it is a Ceremony of Love, Commitment or Handfasting Ceremony and not a wedding/marriage.
Commitment Ceremony -A Ceremony of Love
Dianne and Mickey held their Commitment Ceremony on the bridge at Linear Park, a beautiful natural setting. They carefully selected readings and promises to express their deep love and comittment for each other, creating a beautiful and personal ceremony. The Unity Sand Ceremony bestowed many blessings upon their relationship, providing them with a lasting keepsake.
Photos by Lisa
Sample Ceremony- Commitment of Love This is a sample commitment ceremony. I will work with couples to help them create a ceremony that is uniquely theirs.A ceremony has no legal standing in NY State if there is no marriage license. There can be no implication that this is a wedding or maririage in the invitation or words exchanged. You can however dress how you like and exchange symbols and words of commitment.
God, who gives us the longing for, and capability of loving, we give you thanks for ( ) and ( ), for their open hearts and willing spirits, and for the example of love that they embody here in our presence. Be with them on this joyous occasion of showing their love and be with us, their witnesses, that we may all be changed by what is said and witnessed here.
( ) and ( ) have come here today to make public their love for each other; to declare their choice to live, to love, to partner, and grow together. Your presence and support of this very real and intimate decision is very much appreciated.
This ceremony is all about love. Poet Diane Ackerman once said “Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, but no one agrees on just what it is.” I invite you now to think about how you describe love. Four simple letters to describe such a big feeling!
Plato wrote "Humans have never understood the power of Love, for if they had they would surely have built noble temples and altars and offered solemn sacrifices; but this is not done, and most certainly ought to be done, since Love is our best friend, our helper, and the healer of the ills which prevent us from being happy.
To understand the power of Love, we must understand that our original human nature was not like it is now, but different. Human beings each had two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and two faces looking in opposite directions. There were three sexes then: one comprised of two men called the children of the Sun, one made of two women called the children of the Earth, and a third made of a man and a woman, called the children of the Moon. Due to the power and might of these original humans, the Gods began to fear that their reign might be threatened. They sought for a way to end the humans’ insolence without destroying them.
It was at this point that Zeus divided the humans in half. After the division the two parts of each desiring their other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one. So ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of humankind.
Each of us when separated, having one side only, is but the indenture of a person, and we are always looking for our other half. Those whose original nature lies with the children of the Sun are men who are drawn to other men, those from the children of the Earth are women who love other women, and those from the children of the Moon are men and women drawn to one another. And when one of us meets our other half, we are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment. We pass our whole lives together, desiring that we should be melted into one, to spend our lives as one person instead of two, and so that after our death there will be one departed soul instead of two; this is the very expression of our ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called Love. "
Today ( ) and ( ) celebrate that they have found their other half, first as friends and now as lovers.
Ann Landers once wrote “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”
Along those same lines, an unknown author wrote this beautiful poem entitled The Key to Love. You will find this poem on the back of your program if you would like to follow along.
The key to love is understanding ...
as it is the little things that say so much by themselves.
The key to love is forgiveness ....
to accept each others faults and pardon mistakes,
The key to love is sharing ...
Sharing and facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together;
both conquering problems, forever searching for ways
to intensify your happiness.
The key to love is giving ...
Giving without thought of return,
but with the hope of just a simple smile,
and by giving in but never giving up.
The key to love is respect ...
Respect realizing that you are two separate people, with different ideas;
that you don't belong to each other,
that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.
The key to love is inside us all ...
It takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients
that will take you to its threshold;
it is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work ...
but the rewards are more than worth the effort ...
and that is the key to love.
Please take these keys with you and use them throughout your life, just as ( ) and ( ) plan to do in their relationship.
( ) and ( ) Do you realize that you cannot demand, expect, or hope that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other? we do
Do you realize that everything you need in life…all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, all the power, all the knowledge, all the understanding, all the nurturing, all the compassion, and all the strength…resides within you.....and with your connection to God (Divine Spirit, whatever you choose to call it) we do
Do you realize that if you live in the hope of not getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance? we do
Please speak your wishes for each other (if you choose to exchange symbols of commitment you may do so here and acknowledge/explain. You may not infer marriage or use word indicating a spousal relationship. This is a matter of law- not my opinion.)
Example: I see our relationship not as one that produces obligations, but as one that provides opportunities. My wish for you is that you can be all that you were meant to be. I will walk along side as you as your partner, your lover and your friend.
( ) and ( ), we are honored to have witnessed your promises to each other and our hearts were opened in witness of your love. May your home be a place of happiness for all who enter it; a place where the old and the young are renewed in each others' company; a place for growing and a place for sharing, a place for music and a place for laughter, a place for prayer and a place for love.
May those who are nearest to you be constantly enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for one another, may your work be a joy of your life that serves the world, and may your days be good and long upon the Earth. You may kiss.